


I Surrender

by sixsclassic



Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Crying, F/F, Fear of Death, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Reincarnation, breakdowns
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:08:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23174443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sixsclassic/pseuds/sixsclassic
Summary: Katherine had finally given up on being okay, she was waving her white flag. She was surrendering to her dark thoughts and she needed a light to guide her along the way. And Anna was struggling to come to terms of who she is.
Relationships: Katherine Howard & Anna of Cleves, Katherine Howard/Anna of Cleves
Comments: 7
Kudos: 50





	I Surrender

Katherine fought so hard to overcome her terrors, the thoughts were so damaging. The thoughts of being killed often filled her head as she was trying to sleep to the point that Kat was no longer sleeping unless under the spell of Nightquil, forcing herself to sleep was the only way she was going to get any at all. At most she'd get an hour or two of dreamless sleep before waking up and having to fight off her demons in the daylights.And tonight was no different as she thrashed around in her bed, finding those demons crepting up on her as she was almost asleep. And the same damned tears filled her eyes, blurring her vision as she glanced around the room, feeling her chest tighten as she ripped her covers off of the bed, stepping onto the cold hardwood floor. 

"What do you want from me?" Kat demands from the room as the tears slipped down her cheeks, as she slammed her pillow down onto the floor, her breath short. She was never going to get an answer, but the silence was enough for her. "I surrender! You've won again! I'll never be able to be happy because you're always going to consume me! You've all won in this and the last, whether you're here or not! You've won!" 

And her loud pleas were met with silence, as she started to fear that she might wake the other queens, they'd all gone to bed horus ago and Kat figured that no one would be awake to hear her sobs. Katherine ripped her blankets to floor, sobs continuing to exit her body as she found herself becoming destructive for the first time, pulling things off of shelves, and from hangers. "You hear that Mannox! You've won, you've broken me!" Katherine shouts, slamming her small mirror to the floor, watching to break into a million pieces as she places her hands on her chest trying to calm her breathing as she continued, "You too Dereham! And you Culpepper!" Her throat burned as she pressed her freezing her hands to her neck, feeling exactly what she feared the most. "And you Henry! You've done the most damange, I surrender to you again! In this life and the last! I surrender!" Katherine screams, falling her knees as she cried out. 

Katherine laid on the floor as she continued to cry, feeling trapped her own mind as the men in her past life haunted her and were slowly overcoming her. And slowly the sleep that she didn't want to come, overwhelemed her and she passed out into a dreamless sleep on the bedroom floor. The floor looking like her mind, a mess of broken pieces and things thrown around, her own heart break in real life. She convinced herself that her housemates weren't aware of what was going on, she'd always had these nightly battles with herself, often forgetting what happened the following more. Little did Katherine know that someone always heard her pain, it wasn't her beloved cousin that she shared a wall with or Jane who's room was across the hall. No, it was Anna of Cleves, her room was down the hallway completely and she would lay awake at night, listening for when Katherine's terrors would overwhelm her. Usually it was just helpless sobs, it was so different tonight. She heard the things being destroyed and the screaming, and Anna bit her lip softly, resisting getting up and going to hold Katherine, she knew that Katherine would hate it, to know that someone heard her sadness. Anna was sure it would send her on a downward spiral if she knew and that was the last thing that she wanted to do to Kat. 

Anna would so badly to protect Kat, it was something in her past life that drew her towards Katherine, it could be that they did know each other then. But the German queen sensed it was something different. The way her heart pounds so loudly in her chest whenever Kat is near, the gentle nature of the girl even though Anna knew of her pain. And at the same time Anna questioned if she should even feel this way towards Katherine, was she just searching for love that she never felt. Anna painted a picture for herself that she was above those feelings and that she didn't care at all, but at the same time, she badly wanted to be loved and wanted to love someone. She craved the touch of another human and wanted to have that special connection with someone. Her thoughts swam through her head as she decided to go check on Kat since she hadn't heard the shouting in a while and presumed the girl had fallen asleep. She slipped on her slippers, quietly shuffling down the hallway towards Katherine's room, trying to not distrub any of the other queens. The German queen gently pressed the door, finding Katherine in her room, which looked like a hurricane had been through it. She sighed softly as her heart sunk and she crept further into the room, first picking up Kat's pillow and tossing it onto the bed, followed by her blankets and she tried her best to lift Katherine into her arms, and the girl grunted in her sleep, clearly not as asleep as Anna had thought. "It's okay Kit, I'm just trying to help." Anna whispers softly to her as she got around strayed messes and gently placed Katherine in her bed as she covered with the blankets and the Kat's breath seemed to steady as Anna sighed softly. She then went onto clean up the room a bit, placing things back in their orginial location, carefully picking up the pieces of broken glass as she bit her lip, giving herself a small cut from the glass, but finishing up cleaning before exiting the room and going back to her own. 

She knew that sleep wasn't going to be finding her that night, her thoughts filled with Katherine, her eyes, her smile, her hair, her dimples. Anna had let her lovey thoughts take over as she settled that she was head over heels for Kat. It was damaging to her own well being but she knew that she just loved the girl, nothing attached, it was pure love like you find in childhood. But at the same time, Anna feared telling the other queens, after all they all lived in their previous lives where homosexuality was illegal. And Anna worried that they'd never accept her for who she is. Slowly Anna relaxed as she stared at the ceiling, wishing that she could be just open with the others, she wished she could also tell Katherine how she felt. As morning rolled around, Anna decided it would be best to be honest with the first person she could thing, honestly the one she thought would be most accepting of all of the queens, Cathy Parr. She was sure that the final queen would listen and maybe give her some good advice so Anna headed towards Cathy's study and gently knocked on the door, and she heard the shuffling of feet as she saw a brightly awake Cathy. "Good morning Anna!" Cathy smiles, and Anna knew that she had atleast her first few morning coffees so she was probably the most awake person in the house. "Morning Cathy, could I talk to you about something?" Anna asks as Cathy scrunched her eyebrows slightly and nodded her head and Anna stepped into the sixth queen room. 

Cathy sat at her desk while Anna perched herself on the other queen's bed. "So what's up?" Cathy asks as she hugged her knees to her chest as she looked at the German queen across from her. "So well uh, I don't really know to say this honestly, but I think I'm lesbian. No, I don't think, I am lesbian." Anna admits, rambling to herself as she glanced up at Cathy who was staring at her with thoughtful look. "That's wonderful to hear and I'm really thankful that we're close enough for you to tell me, I see that it was scary for you but I'm really happy to be a part of this journey with you." Cathy smiles, as she patted Anna on the knee. 

"Thank you." Anna says soflty. 

"And what happened to your hand, it's looks all bloody." Cathy syas as she observes Anna hand who glanced down at her hand, seeing that most of her hand had blood streaked on her right hand. "Uh, well I was picking up some glass and I guess I cut myself." Anna shrugs, trying to avoud not telling Cathy what was happening with Katherine. Cathy nodded her head as she spoke again, "I think you should get it cleaned up in the bathroom before some of the other girls wake up." Anna nodded her head in reply as she thanked Cathy again and then headed to the shared bathroom in the hallway, quickly washing her hand and wrapping her hand up as she glanced up at herself in the mirror as she smiled, it was good to be out to someone, to know that she was cared about and understood. 

Meanwhile Kat was slowly starting to awake up, completely confused on how she got where she was, she could've sworn that she'd fallen asleep on the floor but now she was on her bed. And her room wasn't a mess, she was so confused on how she'd gotten there and her head hurt like hell. Slowly Katherine left the room and ran into Cathy in the hallway, who looked at her worried. "Kat is everything alright?" Cathy asks and Kat quickly nodded her head. 

"Yeah I'm okay." Katherine replies as she saw Cathy's eyes glance into her room and the older queen's eyes narrowed at something in the room. 

"What happened to your mirror?" Cathy questions and Kat looked back into her room, seeing the mirror she'd destroyed last night, all cleaned up and off to the side so that she wouldn't set on it when she woke up and Katherine knew that there was no way that she'd cleaned it up, so who did. "Uh well you know how clumsy I am, I knocked it right off the desk last night." Kat tries to explain as Cathy nodded her head. 

"Did you hurt yourself when you cleaned it up?" Cathy adds. 

"What?" Kat asks as Cathy repeated her question and Kat looks down at her hands as if they were going to help her case. "No I used some paper to clean it up, not a strach." Kat replies as Cathy nodded her head once again, "Well make sure you put it in a plastic bag before you throw it away." Kat rapidly nodded her head as she shut her door and rushed down the stairs, leaving Cathy confused as she walked towards the bathroom where Anna was still taking care of her hand. "Anna?" Cathy asks, which made the German girl jump and snap her head towards Cathy, "What's up?" Anna question as she finished wrapping up her hand. 

"Was it a mirror you cut your hand on? Sorry I'm just not sure what glass it could've been and I want to make sure it doesn't get infected." Cathy says, trying to give some logical explaination for her questions. And Anna slowly nodded her head, "Yes it was a mirror." 

And in that moment, Cathy sighed before asking, "Was it Kat's mirror?" And Anna eyes went wide as she tugged Cathy into the bathroom and she quickly locked the door behidn her head as she tried to shush her fellow queen. "So it was Kat's mirror?" Cathy asks again and covered her face with her hands, thinking about it for a moment as she going to admit what she does at least once a week. 

"Kat has these night terrors and destroys her room, and when shes falls asleep, I go in and clean up after her so that if anyone walks in, she won't get questioned with what happened, I just do it so that she won't be put in the spot about her nightmares." Anna explains and Cathy smiles softly as Anna cheeks began to turn red as she spoke about Kat to someone in this manner that she never had the opportunity to do before. "You like Kat don't you?" Cathy asks. 

"Well yes, she's just so precious and amazing. Something about her just makes me so happy and I love more than I can explain. It's different, I've never felt this way before in my life. She's made me feel things I haven't felt before in this lifetime or last." Anne says, her face bright red as Cathy smiled and listened to her friends kind words about Kat. 

"That's really sweet Anna, she'd be lucky to have you." Cathy says. 

"Thank you, but I'd be the lucky one with her." Anna replies, "But I think we should head downstairs for breakfast before Jane sends Aragon upstairs to get anyone who isn't awake yet." 

"I refuse to have water dumped on my head ever again." Cathy chuckles as both queens left the bathroom and headed down to the kitchen where Kat was sat her spot at the table, nibbling on some toast, lost in her own world. The youngest queen was trying to figure out who could've been in her room last night to clean up her mess and everyone looked well rested and she was more concerned about who cleaned up the glass from her floor, well that was until she saw Anna's bandaged hand and her eyes went wide, it had to have been Anna.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed! Let me know what you think! Also let me know what you think will happen next!


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